childhood greens

January 31, 2011

blessed are the ones who remember a childhood in greens. i was mainly surrounded by the grays of roads and buildings but my summers were devoted to a wonderful green: olive tree. i spent many lazy afternoons among olive trees when i was a child. played, ran and breathed among them. and i am now in one the biggest olive regions in the world and the sights are so familiar. that bluish hue shining shyly among pale green leaves, that short and sturdy bark, compact with its crowning branches, those little leaves dancing in the wind and those little fruits bearing future aromas and tastes worth lives. the sight of an olive tree is an immediate return to a childhood spent in carefree days and comfort. in this unknown corner of the world where i feel a tad lonely and a stranger, olive tree is enough to bring me back to a life of ease and familiarity, a place where i keep the soothing memories. green soothes and caresses my body, my soul and my mind. my childhood green is olive, yours maybe hazelnut or vine. blessed are the ones who have a childhood in green… those who are trying to return back to a life of nature can at least open the box of memories and contemplate.

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One of the turns happened in Greece. I had gone there with dreams of idleness and maybe some freshness but what I found in the end was a new me and a signpost to my new path. I adored the horses. I hugged the kiwi trees. I ran with the dogs. I bottle-fed orphaned lambs. I danced in nature for nature all alone in green gardens. I opened my heart to the blue skies and I closed my eyes to the gray ones. The goodwill of a powerful woman had turned the place into wonderland and I had gone there to help; in the end the place helped me. I was reborn with the help of the island.

turn of events

January 17, 2011

I am quite fascinated by the act of observing life in retrospect and seeing how things turn out to be the way they are. The way I am now in has been full of twists and turns and bends and curves. While the ache of twisting remains strong for a long time, its outcome is what you usually thank for. I was unsure about many of these turns until I realized how far I got in this new path that enjoyed more freedom, more thankfulness and joy.
I was free because I acquired a bigger role in/for nature.
I was thankful because I appreciated the wisdom and wonders of the turns.
I was in joy because I was surrounded by beauties and colors. I am still in.
4 years ago I gave out many things but 4 years after I have everything.

awareness

January 8, 2011

a dear acquaintance gave me the idea of selecting a word for the new year. but then i realized that my words usually came out at the end of events or a culmination of them. what can i say about the past 3 years that passed with so much energy, effort, despair, joy and finally decisions.

first it was the year of shocks and anger. then came the year of silence and listening. and questioning. then i found another word for that year for it was soon about finding out about myself and outside. i began to follow a new path in 2008.  i was summoned by nature. i was still listening. 2009 came with energy, new people and the wonders of this new path. i secretly began to talk to nature. i observed how others were doing this. and 2010 became the year of moving on. hoping and acting. i began to talk louder.

2011 may be about anything. who knows? but it will surely be with nature, within nature and for nature. i accepted the path for it made me, me.

trees

January 4, 2011

loreena mckennitt sings yeats’ words into me.

Beloved, gaze in thine own heart,
The holy tree is growing there.

trees have taught me to live. to go on no matter what the weather was. i saw trees of high pride and courage. holding tight to their earth and still rising. they gave me the best lesson and i hushed. it was worthless all crying, in their eyes set for high skies. how could i dare to whine and give up when they held tight to what little earth they held on slopes and hillsides, fearing falling and dying. they held tight to their earth and so did i to mine.


A few years ago, I set out for a journey that I had not imagined before. I could not come back. I had thought that I would devote this life to objects. Objects long forgotten beneath earth. Earth was the cover that I had to get rid of. Then I fell in it and could not come back. Wonderland. I fell in love with earth itself, with what it bore alive. Dead did not speak to me anymore but the life on it, in it, beneath it spoke to me with new languages. As I laid the loved ones in it one by one through years I talked to it too. I asked for protection, I asked for redemption. I held its hands through trees, dogs and cows. I heard its voice through rivers, waves and birds. I was stung and I felt drunk. And I fell in love. Love in Wonderland. I set out for a new journey full of voices, visions and whispers. I could not come back.