there is nothing to do but to surrender. no parting is coincidental or appears out of nowhere. no death is untimely. but we hardly see and understand it. i buried many in the dark particles of earth; i touched my own kin, long gone and cold; i held their numb hands with my numbed heart. all was untimely and i stood.
it is only from a larger window we see the meaning of death but that window is not in our house of living.
it is only in undiscovered shades of light, unreachable frequencies of sound that death reveals itself but we cannot see nor hear.
we do what we do best, we resist it. we deny it. but it wins. and we say farewell.
today we are struck again by sad news. earth called this time someone much admired, much followed by others to itself. and when the earth calls, there is nothing to do but to surrender.
why is it so hard to share?
why is it so hard to bear?
the burden of parting
falls only on one side.
why is it so hard to return
to our original nest?
why is it so hard to send someone
to what we know is the best caretaker?
earth will take care
earth will look after
not only the beloved
but us too, those who remain.
time is the only medicine they say
if we could look at earth right now, time would hush too.

life in a seed

February 18, 2011

we are struck today by the news of a friend who chose to end his life. everyone is secretly asking what the reason was. we don’t know. life takes many people to these frontiers where one questions whether he should cross over or remain. a sudden trauma, a prolonged depression, a multiplicity of broken stories or even an absurd anecdote. anything is possible while ending one’s life is still and forever the most unnatural of all existence.
i am trying through these words, this blog, my life itself to unite the broken-hearted and nature, and every single day sad stories like this one remind me that how far away we live and question our lives from nature.
i was struck by the sadness myself and sought the end for misery for days, yet i found the cure in the soothing hands of trees and animals.
nature is and will be the only place where we are not rejected, where our deformations and bruises are accepted with joy, where our fears are turned back into hopes.
if only we could look and see its restorative powers. but we usually remain too blind and too close-hearted.
i was going to write about seeds yesterday which filled me with a sudden burst of joy. yet i was too overwhelmed with joy and could not find the right words. today they are here.
if one could only associate himself or herself with a tiny piece of seed, he/she would then see first how wonderful and amazing a single person can indeed be.
seeds are coarse, rough bits with seemingly low importance. yet they bear the life, the soul in themselves that is worth a world, millions of worlds. they are silent ants carrying the burden of existence. they are mirrors to the perfect design. but they are small and almost invisible.
just like us. we don’t know what sleeps inside them until the very end products yet again there is usually no end to their continuing existence once they are given life. just like us.
we bear power just like seeds that could lead us to diverse ways of freedom in joys or misery. one look at a seed, one touch and one careful listening would help us understand the value of life, of our own, of everyone, of everything on earth, and orient us to a life in harmony with all.
one seed is worth a million more as a single person is worth a million beauties. but we hardly see it as our hearts are closed and our eyes are too blind and our ears are too deaf to nature which is the mother of all these beauties.

One of the turns happened in Greece. I had gone there with dreams of idleness and maybe some freshness but what I found in the end was a new me and a signpost to my new path. I adored the horses. I hugged the kiwi trees. I ran with the dogs. I bottle-fed orphaned lambs. I danced in nature for nature all alone in green gardens. I opened my heart to the blue skies and I closed my eyes to the gray ones. The goodwill of a powerful woman had turned the place into wonderland and I had gone there to help; in the end the place helped me. I was reborn with the help of the island.